[ Itsuki fiddles with the palmmate a little before he just shoots Suga a small ] yeah, i can get back to the tower.
[ Because, since he's been at a loss at what to do, he left to throw himself into some training. The entire regimen that he'd told Miyuki about before, because it's easier to try and block everything out with activity. But it'd started to get at him, hence texting Suga.
So, he heads back, and when Suga can greet him - he's not about to just walk right in or anything, regardless of invitation - it's rather reminiscent of when they first met, his shoulders curled in and making him seem smaller. ]
[ it takes a little bit of convincing, but suga manages to herd miyuki gently off to the master bedroom, closing the door behind him and making him promise to stay there. he feels a little bit bad about taking over his apartment like this, but... suga doesn't really have a place that counts as his own, and it really seems like itsuki could use a safe place to talk things over.
so! by the time itsuki gets here, suga has a pot of tea brewing for both of them, and he's more than quick to go to the comm room and gently shuttle the younger boy into the rest of the apartment. ] Come in, come in! Make yourself at home, come on.
[ and before itsuki even has the chance to protest, he's being plopped down on the couch, a blanket wrapped up around his shoulders, a cup of hot tea pushed into his hands, and a suga snuggling up comfortably against his side. ]
[ Itsuki doesn't even get any time to utter a pardon the intrusion or thank Suga for his patience and invitation - he's swept up so quickly in being directed through the apartment, swaddled, and then cuddled up to that everything goes by in a blur, his mouth partially open like he was about to actually give protest.
But he looks down at the tea in his hands, like he's surprised it's there, and then he hunkers down into the blanket that's been wrapped around his shoulders. Most of his face disappears into it, his eyes and (sad) eyebrows the only visible thing at first. It's - nice, even if the situation itself isn't. This is hard enough to talk about, but Suga has made it easier.
He sniffs, faintly, before poking his nose and mouth up enough to take a drink before he speaks. ]
[ even without the sympathy pangs, it'd be pretty impossible for everything in his heart not to go out to itsuki right now. suga's never been one to resist a kicked puppy look, and this is practically the ultimate. granted, he cares about mei! a lot. but even in the most complicated of situations, suga can't exactly see how mei handling it like this (how daichi handling it the way he did) is bound to make anything better.
so he gives itsuki a warm little squeeze, voice soft. ] ... I know how it feels, but you didn't do anything wrong.
[ With a little huff of a laugh, the edges of it tinged in self-depreciation, Itsuki squeezes his hands around the mug. Logically, he knows that he didn't... really do anything wrong, exactly. But it's hard to listen to reason when he considers everything that happened, everything he said, everything he did. So it stings, after it'd felt like they were getting somewhere, finding the foundation of the trust they need to grow as a battery in Amoi's skinship. ]
I told him he was the reason I applied to Inashiro - because I saw him pitching on TV when he was a first year. [ His shoulders curl in again. ] And then I confessed to him. I said it was fine, if he didn't reciprocate, because it is, but this is...
[ his hand slides up, rubbing gentle circles over itsuki's shoulder through the blanket. it's true, they don't know each other that well, and there's a part of him that always hates bringing up this topic, but... if their roles were reversed? suga thinks he'd appreciate knowing that he wasn't alone.
so... ]
... right after I first came here, I slept with the captain of my team back home. I'd had a crush on him for years, even though I knew he didn't feel the same way about me... [ it stings, still, admitting that. ] But something in the place where we were staying must have been drugged, and... before I knew it...
I guess I thought he wanted me? I hadn't really been here long enough to understand how things worked, or maybe I just believed in what I wanted to be true, but... [ he huffs out a little sigh, an echo of itsuki's self-deprecating laugh. ] The next morning, when we woke up together, he was upset. And then... he just stopped talking to me.
I thought it was my fault. That because I liked him, I took advantage of him. And... for a long time, I really blamed myself. Sometimes, it's still hard not to. [ and he drops his head onto itsuki's shoulder at that, leaning up into him gently. ] ... but Mei's a good person, even if he's stubborn. He'll come around, don't worry.
[ or suga will drag him kicking and screaming into the inevitable Talk that needs to happen, but itsuki doesn't need to know the finer details. ]
[ As Suga - opens up to him, honestly, there's no other way to put it, Itsuki falls silent. He's always been a good listener, a trait that he's often been praised for, and one that makes him a counterpoint to Narumiya Mei. He's well-behaved and understanding, and his heart sits snug on his sleeve for the world to see.
He and Suga are probably from the same cloth, in that way.
When his head settles on Itsuki's shoulder, he can't really ignore it any longer. Shifting a little to put the tea down, and probably jostling Suga in the process, he opens up the blanket that he's been bundled up in and wraps it around Suga's shoulders, too. This kind of skinship he can do, has done with his siblings plenty of times before. And with what Suga says, the empathy that pangs in his chest, up against the cage of his ribs and through them to every inch of him, he's certainly not shy with the support.
So he encloses them both in the blanket, tea abandoned.
There's a lot he could say, in response to the painfully familiar story. In defense of Mei.
He doesn't. Instead, he just hooks his arm around Suga with the blanket, support and a wordless expression of gratitude for sharing something that obviously hurts with him. ]
[ he doesn't really mean to turn the tables like this, to switch roles from the comforter to the one being comforted. but... he also can't deny that the way itsuki wraps an arm around him and draws him into the blanket feels nice, and suga isn't particularly shy about snuggling up against him. maybe this is simply a good way of supporting each other; the situation might be awful, but at least they're not left struggling through the deep end alone. not anymore.
his one real regret is that his own story doesn't have much of an ending, happy or otherwise. just a foggy sort of question mark, a bunch of nebulous what ifs that lost their chance at resolution the day that daichi disappeared. ]
It'll be okay. [ and he means that, believes it. it's not just an empty platitude. ] I probably don't know Mei as well as you do, but... he has a really good heart. Even when he hides it underneath a lot of bluster.
[ he and miyuki are the same, in that respect. there's more to them that what they say, how they act; there's a different person that peeks out occasionally from behind the mask, and it draws suga in over and over again. ] And working things out with you is important to him. I do know that.
[ Hunkering down and snuggling with Suga is surprisingly calming. There's just something about him, in general, that is genuinely soothing, in a way that leaves Itsuki a little disarmed and less anxious. There's absolutely no denying that he'd worked himself up into an anxiety attack over this, but he's not about to dump that on Suga along with all of this. Especially now that they've gotten everything out, ripped off like a bandaid.
It's all a little raw, but. ]
It will be. [ For him, for Suga. He shifts and sets his cheek atop Suga's pale head, taking a heavy breath that he exhales in a small whoosh. ] He's stupid, though. [ A pause, then he amends. ] Your captain. I don't think Mei-san is stupid - though, a lot of our teammates call him a brat, and I can't disagree with that sometimes. But I know he's got a good heart, and that he's trying. He just... doesn't know how to, I don't think. So he just ran away instead.
[ If only he knew his assessment was spot on. ] There are people who want you here, Suga-san. I've just met you and I knew, after this'd dragged on for so long, that I could come to you. That you'd listen to me, even without knowing that... [ He purses his lips, in lieu of gesturing, since he's enveloped in the blanket with Suga now. ] That something like this had happened to you, too.
[ suga can't help but laugh, even though he does his best to bite back on it! and he ducks his chin a little, lifting a hand to his mouth to stifle the sound. it's just a pretty abrupt judgement -- he's stupid, though -- but it's so refreshingly earnest that suga can't help but find it endearing. ]
Well... I think everyone's a little stupid when it comes to something like this. Me included, probably.
But I think you're probably right about Mei. He seems like the type who needs to hole up for a bit and get his head straight. He'll be back to normal in no time, I bet. [ not that... suga intends to leave him alone to sulk, but itsuki doesn't need to know the finer points. he gets the feeling itsuki does enough chasing after mei and worrying over him on his own; this seems like a pretty nice time to cut him a little break. ]
... but I'm glad to hear that, at least. [ and he throws him another smile, voice warm. ] I know we haven't known each other that long, but... you're important to Mei. [ whether or not mei plans on admitting that any time in the next century. ] And that means you're important to me, too. This place isn't really mine, but... I'm sure Kazuya would agree that the door is always open for you.
[ While the comment is a little meaner than Itsuki's usual fair, he's at least glad that it gets a laugh out of Suga. But he just can't understand how someone could be cruel to someone like Suga, who has been nothing but kind to him since they first met, who has a calming presence and a cheerful, encouraging smile. Even if it's a misunderstanding, or whatever could have brought on his captain's meanness. ]
Maybe. [ There's a me, too in the subtext of that one word, and understanding.
But he lets out an uncertain hum about Mei, already sleepy eyes drooping further as he looks off to the side. There's no denying that he really does spend a lot of time chasing after Mei, in every way that's possible for the two of them. In terms of skills, feelings, and reining him in. ] He did that, back home. He'd lock himself up in his dorm room. It took a while for him to come back out again.
[ This, though, was different from one of Mei's usual sulks. Itsuki caused it. It takes Suga speaking to him again to really get his attention, and he looks back at him. His expression becomes a little incredulous, but definitely embarrassed, when he says that he matters to Mei. ] ... thanks, Suga-san. I really do appreciate it. This place is still a little - [ he laughs ] It's still overwhelming, sometimes, so it's good to know that there are friends here.
[ Smile soft around the edges in return, he ducks down a little. ] And I can offer the same to you, too. If you ever need somewhere to go, for whatever reason.
It wouldn't be the first time he's done something like that here, either. [ with a little huff of a sigh, caught somewhere between exasperated and fond. by now, he's gotten pretty used to mei's particular brand of dramatic flair, but... sometimes, it's still enough to make him want to pinch the bridge of his nose and Sigh. ] But he's also snapped back pretty quickly, too. Even without a teammate around to give him a good kick in the butt.
[ ... itsuki doesn't exactly seem like the butt-kicking type, but. well. ]
Don't worry. Sometimes I think even I'm still a little overwhelmed, but... you learn to manage. Especially when you've got good friends around.
Which is why I'll definitely keep the offer in mind! [ and his grin turns playful again, tone lilting up into a laugh. ] Mei keeps warning me that I'm going to get sick of Kazuya any minute, so it's probably better to be prepared, huh?
He usually came out of it himself back home, too. We'd try to get him to come out, but only Harada-san, his... last catcher and our old captain... only he could really get him to do much. [ Itsuki squints a little, though. ] He mostly just said to leave him be, though, since it was quieter without him around.
[ He's only a butt-kicking type when the right button gets pressed. Just wait until that happens, Suga. ]
I think sometimes, even if you really like someone, you need a break from them. [ Also, Miyuki embarrasses the hell out of him seamlessly, since. Yeah. That happened. He admires Suga a little for his resilience with both him and Mei, honestly. But he shrugs, a little wobbly due to their proximity but unfazed by how that jostles them. ]
But I don't know what I'd do, if Mei-san wasn't here. Or you, and even Miyuki-san. I've made a few other friends here, but I'm a little less lost now.
[ he bites down on his lower lip to catch another little laugh at that one, twisting just enough to be able to grin up at itsuki. ] Well... I guess Harada-san probably had a point about that one. Mei's just lucky that I like having a little noise around to fill up the place.
But you're right about that, too. [ nestling back up comfortably into itsuki's side. ] That's why I feel a little bad about crashing here sometimes... I don't want Kazuya to feel like I'm suffocating him or something. [ it's been something that he's been chewing over for a while, actually. living together is obviously enough to put a strain on even the best of friendships, and even though things have been smooth so far... ]
Then again! I have you now, right? [ poking him playfully in the ribs. ] You can keep me from being a nuisance, and I'll keep you from feeling lost.
[ Someday, Itsuki is going to learn how to do what Masa does. But right now, it's not possible. Especially right now, when he's still feeling guilty for the Ugumori match, and then what he knows is unwarranted guilt for Mei avoiding him. ] It's okay, a lot of the time. I don't mind so much even if people think I should.
[ And a lot do. But he deflates a little more as Suga nestles against him, sleepy eyes closing as he thinks over that. Especially since he's interacted with Miyuki a little more - even if his greatest encounter with him was... mortifying - and is getting to know Suga. ] I think that Miyuki-san would probably say the same, too. That he doesn't mind the company and noise.
- ah! [ The poke makes him jolt a little, ticklish, but not enough to disturb them much. But he smiles, unoffended. ] That's something that I feel like I need a lot of the time, to be honest, so I'd be happy to make that deal.
[ a little laugh, but it's muffled from his comfy spot. ]
He probably wouldn't say it, but I know what you mean. I think he likes the full apartment a little more than he's been letting on.
[ what a cute reaction...! but itsuki's lucky that suga isn't mean enough to exploit a cute weakness like that, especially not when itsuki has plenty weighing on his shoulders. ] Then we're both set. I'm thinking that we'll make a pretty good team, huh?
He and Mei-san are pretty similar like that. [ Because he's not oblivious in the least bit.
But at least Suga doesn't tickle him more... Itsuki's not sure how well that would end with them all cozied up to one another. After mulling it over, he carefully reaches with his free hand to seek out one of Suga's, much like he'd done the first day they met. ] Well, I can say that I'm not as worried about how things will be, now, so I definitely think we'll be able to handle anything that happens.
You've noticed that, too? [ ducking his chin with a little laugh. ] I think they'd both be better off if they learned how to say how they really feel.
But I'm glad you're feeling a little better. [ with an affectionate little bump of his head against itsuki's shoulder, much as if he were a friendly housecat. ] That means I'm doing my job already!
[ He nods, smiling as Suga laughs. It's a good sound, better than his voice when he was talking about his captain. ] That probably won't happen for a long, long time...
[ Said with a little grimace, even if he huffs a laugh afterwards. He does, he loves Mei, but... he also knows that Mei would never, ever have said the things that he did if he wasn't affected the way he was. So he just rubs his cheek on top of Suga's head, nose scrunching. ] I do appreciate it, Suga-san. You've helped a lot since we first met.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
teddy bears unite
i don't
[ give him a second ]
think mei-san is ever going to speak to me again
i don't know what to do
[ There, he ripped it off like a bandaid. ]
into teddy bear hugs
what's going on? did you two have a fight?
and naps
we didn't get into a fight, but he's avoiding me.
even for practice.
and has been ever since [ tadano itsuki has done nothing wrong ] we had sex
( 1/2 )
Oh No. this has got to be someone's idea of a cosmic joke. ]
how long has it been since you've seen him?
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this seems like the sort of thing that might be better handled in person.
can you get to eos tower? floor 590. we'll have the place to ourselves, don't worry.
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[ Because, since he's been at a loss at what to do, he left to throw himself into some training. The entire regimen that he'd told Miyuki about before, because it's easier to try and block everything out with activity. But it'd started to get at him, hence texting Suga.
So, he heads back, and when Suga can greet him - he's not about to just walk right in or anything, regardless of invitation - it's rather reminiscent of when they first met, his shoulders curled in and making him seem smaller. ]
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so! by the time itsuki gets here, suga has a pot of tea brewing for both of them, and he's more than quick to go to the comm room and gently shuttle the younger boy into the rest of the apartment. ] Come in, come in! Make yourself at home, come on.
[ and before itsuki even has the chance to protest, he's being plopped down on the couch, a blanket wrapped up around his shoulders, a cup of hot tea pushed into his hands, and a suga snuggling up comfortably against his side. ]
So. When's the last time you heard from Mei?
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But he looks down at the tea in his hands, like he's surprised it's there, and then he hunkers down into the blanket that's been wrapped around his shoulders. Most of his face disappears into it, his eyes and (sad) eyebrows the only visible thing at first. It's - nice, even if the situation itself isn't. This is hard enough to talk about, but Suga has made it easier.
He sniffs, faintly, before poking his nose and mouth up enough to take a drink before he speaks. ]
It's been a week.
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so he gives itsuki a warm little squeeze, voice soft. ] ... I know how it feels, but you didn't do anything wrong.
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I told him he was the reason I applied to Inashiro - because I saw him pitching on TV when he was a first year. [ His shoulders curl in again. ] And then I confessed to him. I said it was fine, if he didn't reciprocate, because it is, but this is...
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so... ]
... right after I first came here, I slept with the captain of my team back home. I'd had a crush on him for years, even though I knew he didn't feel the same way about me... [ it stings, still, admitting that. ] But something in the place where we were staying must have been drugged, and... before I knew it...
I guess I thought he wanted me? I hadn't really been here long enough to understand how things worked, or maybe I just believed in what I wanted to be true, but... [ he huffs out a little sigh, an echo of itsuki's self-deprecating laugh. ] The next morning, when we woke up together, he was upset. And then... he just stopped talking to me.
I thought it was my fault. That because I liked him, I took advantage of him. And... for a long time, I really blamed myself. Sometimes, it's still hard not to. [ and he drops his head onto itsuki's shoulder at that, leaning up into him gently. ] ... but Mei's a good person, even if he's stubborn. He'll come around, don't worry.
[ or suga will drag him kicking and screaming into the inevitable Talk that needs to happen, but itsuki doesn't need to know the finer details. ]
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He and Suga are probably from the same cloth, in that way.
When his head settles on Itsuki's shoulder, he can't really ignore it any longer. Shifting a little to put the tea down, and probably jostling Suga in the process, he opens up the blanket that he's been bundled up in and wraps it around Suga's shoulders, too. This kind of skinship he can do, has done with his siblings plenty of times before. And with what Suga says, the empathy that pangs in his chest, up against the cage of his ribs and through them to every inch of him, he's certainly not shy with the support.
So he encloses them both in the blanket, tea abandoned.
There's a lot he could say, in response to the painfully familiar story. In defense of Mei.
He doesn't. Instead, he just hooks his arm around Suga with the blanket, support and a wordless expression of gratitude for sharing something that obviously hurts with him. ]
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his one real regret is that his own story doesn't have much of an ending, happy or otherwise. just a foggy sort of question mark, a bunch of nebulous what ifs that lost their chance at resolution the day that daichi disappeared. ]
It'll be okay. [ and he means that, believes it. it's not just an empty platitude. ] I probably don't know Mei as well as you do, but... he has a really good heart. Even when he hides it underneath a lot of bluster.
[ he and miyuki are the same, in that respect. there's more to them that what they say, how they act; there's a different person that peeks out occasionally from behind the mask, and it draws suga in over and over again. ] And working things out with you is important to him. I do know that.
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It's all a little raw, but. ]
It will be. [ For him, for Suga. He shifts and sets his cheek atop Suga's pale head, taking a heavy breath that he exhales in a small whoosh. ] He's stupid, though. [ A pause, then he amends. ] Your captain. I don't think Mei-san is stupid - though, a lot of our teammates call him a brat, and I can't disagree with that sometimes. But I know he's got a good heart, and that he's trying. He just... doesn't know how to, I don't think. So he just ran away instead.
[ If only he knew his assessment was spot on. ] There are people who want you here, Suga-san. I've just met you and I knew, after this'd dragged on for so long, that I could come to you. That you'd listen to me, even without knowing that... [ He purses his lips, in lieu of gesturing, since he's enveloped in the blanket with Suga now. ] That something like this had happened to you, too.
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Well... I think everyone's a little stupid when it comes to something like this. Me included, probably.
But I think you're probably right about Mei. He seems like the type who needs to hole up for a bit and get his head straight. He'll be back to normal in no time, I bet. [ not that... suga intends to leave him alone to sulk, but itsuki doesn't need to know the finer points. he gets the feeling itsuki does enough chasing after mei and worrying over him on his own; this seems like a pretty nice time to cut him a little break. ]
... but I'm glad to hear that, at least. [ and he throws him another smile, voice warm. ] I know we haven't known each other that long, but... you're important to Mei. [ whether or not mei plans on admitting that any time in the next century. ] And that means you're important to me, too. This place isn't really mine, but... I'm sure Kazuya would agree that the door is always open for you.
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Maybe. [ There's a me, too in the subtext of that one word, and understanding.
But he lets out an uncertain hum about Mei, already sleepy eyes drooping further as he looks off to the side. There's no denying that he really does spend a lot of time chasing after Mei, in every way that's possible for the two of them. In terms of skills, feelings, and reining him in. ] He did that, back home. He'd lock himself up in his dorm room. It took a while for him to come back out again.
[ This, though, was different from one of Mei's usual sulks. Itsuki caused it. It takes Suga speaking to him again to really get his attention, and he looks back at him. His expression becomes a little incredulous, but definitely embarrassed, when he says that he matters to Mei. ] ... thanks, Suga-san. I really do appreciate it. This place is still a little - [ he laughs ] It's still overwhelming, sometimes, so it's good to know that there are friends here.
[ Smile soft around the edges in return, he ducks down a little. ] And I can offer the same to you, too. If you ever need somewhere to go, for whatever reason.
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[ ... itsuki doesn't exactly seem like the butt-kicking type, but. well. ]
Don't worry. Sometimes I think even I'm still a little overwhelmed, but... you learn to manage. Especially when you've got good friends around.
Which is why I'll definitely keep the offer in mind! [ and his grin turns playful again, tone lilting up into a laugh. ] Mei keeps warning me that I'm going to get sick of Kazuya any minute, so it's probably better to be prepared, huh?
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[ He's only a butt-kicking type when the right button gets pressed. Just wait until that happens, Suga. ]
I think sometimes, even if you really like someone, you need a break from them. [ Also, Miyuki embarrasses the hell out of him seamlessly, since. Yeah. That happened. He admires Suga a little for his resilience with both him and Mei, honestly. But he shrugs, a little wobbly due to their proximity but unfazed by how that jostles them. ]
But I don't know what I'd do, if Mei-san wasn't here. Or you, and even Miyuki-san. I've made a few other friends here, but I'm a little less lost now.
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But you're right about that, too. [ nestling back up comfortably into itsuki's side. ] That's why I feel a little bad about crashing here sometimes... I don't want Kazuya to feel like I'm suffocating him or something. [ it's been something that he's been chewing over for a while, actually. living together is obviously enough to put a strain on even the best of friendships, and even though things have been smooth so far... ]
Then again! I have you now, right? [ poking him playfully in the ribs. ] You can keep me from being a nuisance, and I'll keep you from feeling lost.
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[ And a lot do. But he deflates a little more as Suga nestles against him, sleepy eyes closing as he thinks over that. Especially since he's interacted with Miyuki a little more - even if his greatest encounter with him was... mortifying - and is getting to know Suga. ] I think that Miyuki-san would probably say the same, too. That he doesn't mind the company and noise.
- ah! [ The poke makes him jolt a little, ticklish, but not enough to disturb them much. But he smiles, unoffended. ] That's something that I feel like I need a lot of the time, to be honest, so I'd be happy to make that deal.
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He probably wouldn't say it, but I know what you mean. I think he likes the full apartment a little more than he's been letting on.
[ what a cute reaction...! but itsuki's lucky that suga isn't mean enough to exploit a cute weakness like that, especially not when itsuki has plenty weighing on his shoulders. ] Then we're both set. I'm thinking that we'll make a pretty good team, huh?
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He and Mei-san are pretty similar like that. [ Because he's not oblivious in the least bit.
But at least Suga doesn't tickle him more... Itsuki's not sure how well that would end with them all cozied up to one another. After mulling it over, he carefully reaches with his free hand to seek out one of Suga's, much like he'd done the first day they met. ] Well, I can say that I'm not as worried about how things will be, now, so I definitely think we'll be able to handle anything that happens.
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But I'm glad you're feeling a little better. [ with an affectionate little bump of his head against itsuki's shoulder, much as if he were a friendly housecat. ] That means I'm doing my job already!
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[ Said with a little grimace, even if he huffs a laugh afterwards. He does, he loves Mei, but... he also knows that Mei would never, ever have said the things that he did if he wasn't affected the way he was. So he just rubs his cheek on top of Suga's head, nose scrunching. ] I do appreciate it, Suga-san. You've helped a lot since we first met.
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That's what a good team does, right?
[ nosing up into him. ] And I'd really hate to let my teammate down.
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